TO ALDEN

I have now reached the ripe old age of 69.  Used to be a good number but now it doesn’t have anywhere near the meaning to me and is actually a little depressing! 

The reason I am writing these stories is so that Alden my new grandson has something to remember me by when I am gone.  I was never a father to my son Jason from the time he was born.  So I have deep regrets about it.  I know I blew it with him growing up and have no way to change that. 

I can only try to be a better person in what little time I have left considering each year goes by in the blink of an eye now.  Knowing who I was then I truly believe it worked out best for Jason.  I am just glad that his Mom and Perry were such good influences on him.  I truly owe them a debt of gratitude for being there for him and guiding him along the way.  They did an amazing job of raising him. 

He has turned out to be everything I wasn’t.  In my eyes a very amazing individual.  I am very proud of him even if I wasn’t a part of it.  I really have made a mess of my life till now. 

Although the theme of the 70’s was peace and love.  It was also about free love, drugs, rock and roll and rebellion against all values of the past.  Unfortunately I took the bad side of that coin and went with it. 

It is really sad that it takes some people like me so many years to realize that we went down the wrong highway in life.  The thing of it is once we have chosen the path we are going to take in life it is very hard to change it along the way. 

You get caught up in the security of making money and surviving as best you can with what you know.  Once you have put so much time in one direction.  It is hard to abandon it and choose another direction even if you know the one you have chosen is wrong. 

I spent all my life living and working on the road.  Traveling from place to place with a bunch of hardened construction workers who only saw home once in a great while.  It is not exactly conducive to a family type of environment. 

Your environment becomes the bars after work and the partying till late in the night.  Night after night after night.  I did try my hand at many different businesses and although I was able to make a living it was nowhere near what I could make on the road.  So of course I always gave up on the businesses and went back to work for the big companies that paid the most.  

I have to say that I did get to see many beautiful places in the USA that I never would have otherwise.  It also gave me what I have today to be able to enjoy the freedom I now have. 

The problem with it was it destroyed all my relationships in the process and in my mind everything else I ended up with.  It all seemed so hollow in the end.  In those years it was all about Dave and I didn’t take the time to consider anyone else’s feelings in the process. 

Stupid but I am very guilty of it and sorry for having done it.  Unfortunately it took me 60 something years of my life to figure out what I really have wanted in life.  I now believe I am on the right path unfortunately I don’t have a long life left to live it.  The only thing I have to say for myself is better late than never!!! 

Jason now has his greatest gift in life his new son Alden and his beautifully sweet wife Chris.  They are the perfect trio in my book not that I am biased or anything.  He will be everything to Alden that I wasn’t to him. 

I am just glad that he has accepted me as I am all these years!  Learning a lesson in life is a very hard thing sometimes but I do believe I have finally learned it.  I want Alden to understand who I have become in my old age not what I did when I was young and foolish. 

Now that I am in a better place in my mind and life.  I am just trying to leave these good memories of who I am now behind for him to see. 

I got started on this path early this morning and could not let it go.  I spent the night before and the whole early morning walk thinking about it!  Sometimes it helps to put it in writing and get it behind you! 

I hope if nothing else this inspires him to get out and see the WORLD there is so much to learn out there!!!  Most of the cents I have now are passed hand to hand in the market if that makes any cents to you!  I don’t know where I am going or what I am doing next.  But I do know I will be going somewhere and doing something!!!  LIFE IS GOOD  Dave

13 thoughts on “LIFE at 69

    • Thanks Sandy you must have read my mind. I was thinking about you the last couple of days and was going to write to see how you guys were doing! Things don’t last long in the mind anymore have to do it then or it is forgotten! Dave

  1. Edward A Chuplis says:

    You wrote it and now you can get it behind you. Dave you’re now living a free and happy life, enjoy it. If others have forgiven you, forgive yourself. We’ve been friends a little while and I’ve seen you grow mellower and less “me oriented”. Spend your time wisely except when we occasionally hit the raki. Be seeing your glum ass in the future…

  2. Kent & Dana Boden says:

    Happy Birthday dear Friend!
    Forget about the past,You can`t change it.Forget about the future You can`t redict it. Forget about the present, I didn`t get you one. You are an amazing Friend with a good heart but you know it takes a long time to grow young. All the best from Swedan . Kent & Dana

  3. Philibotte family says:

    I think it’s time to do what we call “Huli the bowl”. Might be fun to read this story:

    In ancient times, in Hawaii and throughout the world, each child born was said to have a Bowl of Perfect Light. If the child was taught to respect and love his or her light, the child would grow in strength and health and could swim with the sharks, fly with the birds, and know and understand all things.
    If, however, the child got into pilikia or trouble, with thoughts of fear, worry, doubt, judgment, anger, resentment, envy, or jealousy,these thoughts would harden and form a pohaku or stone in the Bowl of Light, and then some of the light would go out because light and stone cannot occupy the same space.
    If the child continued to get stones in the bowl, the light would eventually go out, and the child would become a stone. Just like a stone, the child would no longer grow, nor was he or she capable of movement. However, as soon as the child tired of being a stone, all that was needed was to do kalana or forgive this aspect of himself or herself, and huli the bowl or turn it upside down to let the stones fall out. All the light could then shine again and grow even brighter than before.

    Forgive yourself, huli the bowl, and enjoy what time you have left on this earth. Your penance is over.

    • Thanks Jason Really Great story!!! I will certainly remember it. Sometimes for me I have to write what I think down to see it and do just that get it behind me. LOVE you all Dave

  4. Philibotte family says:

    Happy Birthday old Man!
    Don’t beat yourself up, it all turned out as it was supposed to! I’ve forgiven you long ago, now you need to forgive yourself. I hope the next post is a reflection on all of the positive things that you’ve done in the past. You should validate those as well. You were definitely an inspiration to me as a world traveler, AND no matter how much you worked, you always took time to travel. Your riches come in experience not dollar signs – they can take away money but they can never take away experiences. Live your dream and let go of regrets – we are all here pulling for you to find what you’re looking for.

    • Thanks again You have a very special family there. It is wonderful to see how perfect the three of you are for each other. It will be even more wonderful to see it through Alden’s eyes. You have a great life to look forward to. Live it to the fullest it looks like the rewards will be great!!! love Dave

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