It’s like this for me now!  One side wants to stop and look at what I have learned from all the good things I have seen and done in the last few years.  Then to regroup and start off again.  

The other side thinks that if I do stop and take that time.  That I may not only be losing that time.  I may not be able to do whatever I come up with in the time I spend taking to decide what it is!!!!!!!  Does that sound Crazy or what!!!!!!!!!!

The trouble is that even though I have all this free time.  So many things have now become unavailable to me to decide or choose.  For instance my strength, health and stamina to do the things that I didn’t have to think about when I was young.  Then all I had to do is just decide if that is the direction and take it.  

My avenues for being able to pursue what I want now pretty much comes down to what am I capable of doing even if I want to.  

That is where all the down time comes in.  I just don’t have the energy to keep up doing what I was able to in the past.  So needing all the rest that I do.  My body is saying it needs the down time.  I am caught between a rock and a hard spot.  

Why I do what I do is to keep my mind and body active as much as I can.  The naps and down time are just what my body needs, but not so much what my mind wants it to do!  

Like if I try to do more today because I feel I am not doing enough.  Tomorrow I will only be capable of doing less because I wore myself out today!  

A good example is today the day after my trip here to Cadiz.  I wore myself out yesterday getting here because it was a real long trip and by the time I got here it was late.  Today I got up and had breakfast and was exhausted so fought it for a bit.  Then said the hell with it and went back to bed!!!!  All I did today was sleep and go stock up on groceries!  HAHA!  

The boat is sinking and there is no way to keep my finger in the hole!  My body is getting back at my mind for telling it what to do all my life.  Now my body is taking over and telling my mind what I can and can not do!!!  It is it’s turn to be the top dog and it is taking advantage of it by hook or by crook, like it or not!!!

1 thought on “ME NOW

  1. I was trying to wish you happy holidays but I guess you’re not checking your email. Hope all is well!!
    And Happy Holidays !!

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